Ayutthaya Full Day Tour with Traditional Lunch by River Cruise (Grand Pearl)

Speed dating

I think it was because of cortisol, the stress hormone. I was so fatigued on getting back from our Grand European Tour river cruise, by Viking. I slept a lot. Jet lag played a role. A week later and I am mostly recovered and able to reflect a bit. The Danube (like the Rhine, which we ended up on) is a river with a history. On the cruise I read chilling accounts of the the last century's tumult. Several fellow passengers were Jewish, pilgrims to lands from whence their ancestors were sent to death camps or Siberia. The (remaining) Austrians struck me as bossy, and the Germans more iron-fisted still. Owning a large dog in Regensburg will cost you 900 euros a year! Jaywalking comes with a 90 euro fine. But there is nary a cigarette butt or graffiti to be found in the many picturesque villages that dot the river's edge. These are older populations, among the world's oldest. And very orderly. I'll digress: It is unclear to me how river cruises benefit the towns. Perhaps it's the docking fees, because almost all of our eating and sleeping was done on board. They all fade into each other. I think we ended up docking 12 times in 14 days, most of them, to the best of my recollection, at small, picturesque river towns in Bavaria and thereabouts. And though each was different, special in its own ways, I'll have to review the photos to remember how. It was the vacation equivalent of speed dating. The whole Viking experience is built around the meal schedule and the fact that the group tables make socialization unavoidable. It, too, is a form of speed dating. You will meet a lot of people during meals, most of them in their 70s or 80s, some of whose names and former careers you will actually remember -- Tommy, a Texas lobbyist, Morris, the Sydney barrister, Jodi, the school teacher from Vancouver. In a crowd like this, medical complaints are a surefire way to keep conversations going. There are 147 passengers and about 40 meals in total, so in theory you can meet everyone. All on our ship were English speakers, many from the far reaches. The Aussies and New Zealanders all seemed to have been on long vacations, none less than 4 months. Viking doesn't exactly enforce dining times, but if you show up fashionably late your service isn't as good, and the meal might not be complete. Even so, it's hard to complain: for the most part you are pampered -- the menus, the wine, your persistent housekeeper. There is a lot of nudging but the experience is designed to be all encompassing. There are optional tours, with local guides, for activities such as wine or beer tasting. The best one we had turned out to be a personal tour of Cologne Cathedral (no one else signed up). But most stops feature "included" tours, which, like meals, start and end at scheduled times and include many passengers. Your whole life is structured thus. What all this closeness also means is that everyone (not an exaggeration) gets whatever bug is going around. I fought a fever. Then, it was my wife's turn. Others had serious bronchial complications. I don't think it was covid -- I don't know, I didn't test, though we were vaxxed beforehand. Whatever, it was a nasty bug. Adding to the cortisol were the knees. My step-counter says we walked nearly 60 miles on the various tours! To be honest, what really stressed us both out was the intensive, nonstop socializing. For us, a little company is fine, but too much can be overwhelming. Fourteen days, omg. By the end, we were physically and mentally exhausted, overdosed on cortisol and ready to bolt. I can't remember ever viewing the end of a vacation with such relief. One feels vaguely decadent for whining about something so posh. It was posh. But there you have it. It was probably our last river cruise.

via Tripadvisor